Things that Should Be Eaten from the Inside Out

Does Poor Word Choice Sabotage Your Self-Image?

Get it together

• Sort it out

• Plan ahead

• Figure it out

• I’m a mess 

• Trying to finalize

Happy Flippin New Year! 2022 is starting to feel a lot like 2021. That can’t be good. But it is right here in front of us. Life has this funny way of continually providing one with all they deserve. We’re the ones with the problem realizing that as we hold a bag of shit.

As I navigate this new year, several new things are happening in my life. Those new things and different circumstances will surface in my writing. This post started like most of my others. In my head. Fighting to get out. 

Funny things happen though, when those thoughts tumble from my head. They get mixed up when collected. They seem to find a new structure that reveals some hidden or unseen point that then proceeds to stab me. 

I don’t know why my brain works like that. I was chatting with a close friend about how my brain operates. I think that because of my childhood, then my life in the food biz, my brain works backwards. Like I have to see the end result of a series of actions, then play it backwards to see each step needed along the way. 

Actually, that sounds crazy to me. But somehow it seems to have worked well enough for 57 years to get me to this point. I guess it’s a habit now. My friend, a teacher, remarked that her brain operates in a similar fashion. I’m glad I have teacher friends.

Thanks to another good friend and fellow Substack writer Valentina, at Life Intelligence, I now know that those feelings of singularity, or that everyone is staring at me, or I’m the only human to ever have felt this emotion are self-produced. We all have them. 

Through our collaboration last year I gained heretofore unknown insights into my own behavior. The posts that grew from that connection are valuable to me. If you missed them, they are here and here. Learning about things like the Spotlight Effect and the Halo Effect opened my mind. And created Awareness.

So that is how 2022 starts for me. With some inflection, introspection and reflection. The journey we took last year logged a million miles, most of it in my head. Now let’s go explore the great unknown. What’s in your head?

Thank you for supporting me. Your support IS the difference. Not our differences.

Ric

{Baked Sweet Potato inside out} {Grilled Steak outside in}

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Shaky hands and a hot skillet

I delayed this post because it wasn’t cooked right. It started as fried eggs and then a yolk broke. Happens with shaky hands and a hot skillet. Scrambled eggs are what I wanted anyways. Damn thing about wanting a thing is making the thing happen. 

We put our load into the money shot and then we blank. Part of the issue is rabbit holes. We set traps for ourselves and then feign surprise as we tumble down it cry-begging for help. But here we are. Thankfully, I grabbed onto your shirt-sleeve. That saved me. 

Psychology Today serves food for thought. I eat and think of you. You dine on my words. Half the meal is eaten with the eye, I’m fond of saying.

I wrote for myself last year. Now, realizing retrospectively, you were dragged to where I was. Instinctively, I know we are different. Intuitively, I feel those differences.

But, I feel we have more similar human emotions than different ones. All of them mostly left unexpressed. I told you about mine. You listened. That’s awesome. 

I found this author via a close friend. Jeff Foster writes about Vulnerability. So do I. Jeff warns against using it as a shield. I use it as a shield. Awareness first. Self-awareness second. Check this poem out . . .

And your flaws were always longing to be touched with an awareness so tender that it would birth entire universes to find itself.

The Kind of Love You Deserve by Jeff Foster

I selected one quote from each article linked. I could have pasted all of them and called it a day. Plagiarism and all. It takes a lot to spend more than a few moments on a post, and then to click on links. Come on man! 

Do this. Click and bookmark. Read it on the toilet. Or when you can’t sleep later. Or over cereal. Trust me here. 

Allowing yourself to feel anxious is difficult because no living creature is programmed to allow vulnerability; the consequences in nature are harsh. Yet, with language, we have the capacity to develop complex relationships, which requires vulnerability. It is a frustrating aspect of the human condition.

Awareness as a Tool: The "Circle of Life"

Turgid expectations strain relationships. Constantly putting pressure on friends, coworkers, or romantic partners to meet your demands is a real buzzkill. They start to feel bullied and burdened by you. The more emotionally demanding you are, the more people will avoid you.

3 Signs That You’re a Prisoner of Your Expectations

…[M]indfulness tools allow a person to attend to what is going on in their mind and body. However, at times like these, when what we see in ourselves is painful, shameful, or embarrassing, mindfulness practice must often be paired with self-compassion practice. When a person is compassionate towards oneself, something in body, heart, and soul calms down. Self-compassion allows a person to experience empathy for herself.

How Old Painful Patterns Re-Emerge in Times of Stress

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I Love LA

I restarted (don't like re-words, but ok here) appraising in August of 2021. I thank my brother Ralph for pushing me in all of the right ways to make it happen. Because of him I went back to the future. And back again.

The streets of LA are fucking incredible right now. My drives take me from San Gabriel to South LA to Hermosa to Encino to the OC to the West side to NoHo to Victor Heights to Echo Park Lake. And Beyond.

Victor Heights

The streets are alive. And dead. Abject disgust and overwhelming heartbreak intersect and collide with earnest interest and heartmending connection.

Jensen’s Recreation Center

think to yourself . . . the last time i walked the streets of la

Echo Park Lake

Troubles never cease. The beauty below has ebbed and flowed over the years. Much like all of us.

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from whence it began

ric leczel

Dec 30, 2020

PROLOGUE

This is not a cook book

but you will find some recipes in here

This is not a song book

but you will find some tunes in here

This is not a picture book

but you will find some artistry in here

This is not a poetry book

but you will find some poems in here

This is not a DIY book

but you will find some craftiness within you

This is not an autobiographical book

but you will find some memories in here worth sharing

In short, the book you are holding is more

Like a travelogue

Let’s ride the roads of my mind and soul

And see if we can share some beautiful

Moments together

Eliminate who you are not, and the rest comes easy. Pay it forward – give it back

There is no courage without fear

This is one man’s observation of, and opinions on, race, class, religion, and privilege based on my life experiences. Nothing that I feel, think, write, speak, intimate, imply, hint, insinuate, allude to, suggest, express, whisper, or god forbid – joke about - in any fashion, way, shape or form is a comparison of my experiences to any other. These are my experiences, my memories, my culture, and my life. I share this story in the hope that it is an interesting one. A chronicle that illustrates only one family out of millions who have contributed to the great American story. A story that celebrates all that is good in America. I hope to shatter, illuminate and counter the idea of a monolithic block of white people intent on destroying the lives of other people of a different skin color. That simply is not true.

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Eat Your Heart Out