The Power of Today; The Beauty of No; The Grace of Love
Just Say Know
The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.
I curated this playlist using the method I used back in the day to pick out Christmas Trees. Scan inventory searching for potential. Usually more PO than TENTIAL. But that is the game. Like the Matrix, either you are in the grid or not. It’s your choice.
Fully aware of the Hallmark Holiday bearing down on us like a Super-Charged Red-Colored Mad-Max Five Finger Death Punch to the Heart, I am aware of the loneliness, sadness and aloneness that Hallmark loves to highlight.
Just Say No
Interesting time in the life of a newly-solo participant. The Hallmark Holiday does its best to wring tears from a rock. Might work this year.
Realization sets in. It’s over. Like everything else loathed or longed. The moment peaked, the pinnacle reached, the money shot spent. And what usually happens right after that?
Worrying about the next loaded moment. Leaving no time to inhabit the last forgotten moment. Barely any time to invest in the next critical moment. Impatience impeded only by impetuousness. Anxiety sets fire to angst.
The more winters we enter become darker and harder to exit it seems. We build barriers to bliss and then we blame. Denial comes next to sweep the damage and debris under the memory-mat. We move on and on, and later on, down the road, wonder what the hell really happened?
It doesn’t have to be like this. I never understood the power of no. I always heard it and obeyed it. It happened all around me. Never liked it. Always rebelled against it. Fuck the Man and all that shit.
I never liked telling people no. I always couched it in terms that would lessen the blow. I opted for squishy replies and soft landings. The customer is always right.
I raised my hand as a 16-year-old in an after-hours employee meeting at Hacienda Lumber Company (Farmington NM) in 1980 in response to a challenge posed by Bob, the General Manager
The Customer Is Always Right. Period.
I raised my hand. So did others. Bob chose to call on Agnes in Accounting who asked how long this meeting would last? She had hungry kids at home. Betty the Cashier was pointed to next - “Are we getting paid for this meeting?”
Jim the Foreman met my eyes and they said “Don’t piss me off!” I did. I can't help it. It truly is my nature.
“If the customer is ALWAYS right and calls me Bob, but my name is Ric, what do I say?
“Thank You for taking care of the customer, Bob”
“Any more questions?”
Both Bob’s were pissed. But Betty and Agnes smiled. And gave me stuff after that. I always knew it was bullshit, but when they rub your face in it, most of us tend to say
NO.
Like when I rode bulls back in the day. There are only two things that can happen when you ride a bull. In this day of false Binary Choices, I faced an 8-second challenge every single time I got my gear on. As a 12-16 year old. Ride or Die, right? That might be a cool tattoo.
Bucking barrel or a 2500-pound Brahma Bull, there are only two fucking answers when riding. Make or not. Make the 8 or don’t. It’s not hard. It is a yes or no kinda deal.
No points for trying. Or wanting. Or wishing. Or going along. Or continuing. No barely points. It’s over. You failed. Today. Not forever. Just on that ride. Grab your rope, limp off, and ride another day.
Kinda like surfing. Catcha wave or fall. The basic simplicity is profound. You ride or you don’t. No qualifiers. No excuses. No shit. It’s done. It’s over in two minutes. Insert joke here.
You rode it. OR. You did not. Pick up your board and go on. Paddle out again or go home.
We have a tendency to complicate things more than that reality. Please tell me how your life is harder than a Bull Rider or Big Wave Surfer? I’m sure it is. That life is mostly straight-forward. Ride or not. Your life maybe not? Not so fast.
Paddle into a 35-footer? Strapping onto a beast named Diablo? Not as hard as wrangling a toddler. Or talking to a Alzheimer-addled Dad. Or wiping a Downs Adult’s Butt. I get it.
What’s your OR? Something in your life right now is a no OR not. Putting it off just gets you more of what you got. What do you want? And what do you not want?
So many or’s and always’ and nevers’ and forevers’ and ifs’. The elaborate constructions we build in the mind and psyche to comfort and console our never-met-needs are so complex and convoluted that clarity is confounding!
I have the answer. We all have the answer. We have always had the answer.
NO
Like a light switch, we turn ourselves on and off. What happens when the light is on is most likely quite different than what happens when the light is off.
That is a yes or no. That is an OR.
What do You Love?
I Love LA. I actually really do. It is kinda like a girl you see from a distance. She’s good from far, but far from good.
What I like is how you can see it from everywhere. Kellogg Hill, San Berdoo, the West Side, Griffith Park, Angeleno Heights, the 10, the 57, La Habra. I don’t know a lotta girls this good from far!
From my eyes to yours!
Thank you for reading my words. The time we spend together is important. we slow down, if not together, than over the same few letters strung together.
If you enjoy this time, please consider making a financial contribution to help support this crazy thing. You have no idea how good it feels to know that someone cares enough to show.
I hope I show you that I care. I wasn’t always sure that I did.
Be good to yourself.
Ric