Softball Weekend, One Last Time
Headed to Boston for the end of a playing career . . .
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship
If you are looking for motivation and inspiration, what a beautiful quote by Louisa Alcott from her book Little Woman about how to not be afraid of the up and downs in life. If we are learning, if we realize that we are the captain of our ship then we can get through what life brings in front of us.
Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness; Having a positive mindset of no matter what has happened, what can I do now. We can either be taken down by the events or rise above them. Be RESILIENT!
If you need some pump-up or want to light a fire under your ass, click play.
The end of this road
The Youngest Daughter started playing softball when she was 8 years old. She turns 22 in a month. That’s a lot of softball. Some people say (they do) that to achieve “EXPERT” status in any given field, it takes 10,000 hours or 10,000 reps. She qualifies for expert pay on both accounts.
Full Disclosure: The Wife is fully responsible for the softball experience. She thought it would be a good bridge for re-entry into my life after prison. It was one of the best things ever in my life and I’m eternally grateful. Ms. Christina Hentz, 3rd grade teacher extraordinaire, made the suggestion and I’m forever thankful.
On Sunday, April 24, 2022, I will watch her in uniform for the last time in person. That reality has not set in fully. Softball parents qualify for expert status as well. I’m sure parents of kids in other sports and in other disciplines are the same. Dedication is dedication, after all. Same taco: different salsa.
And what kind of experts are these parents? Privileged, elite, wealthy, snobby? Yup. What About: Hard-working, middle-class, poor, happy. Yup. All of the above and everyone in the middle. Black. Brown. Yellow. White. Red. And Purple, Orange, Pink, and Green on Opening Day.
Cops and firefighters seem to make up a large percentage of the parents, especially coaches. There have been professors, bankers, construction guys, teachers, UPS dudes, business owners, MBAs and PhDs, actual school coaches, doctors, laborers, farmers, truck drivers, nurses, stay-at-homers, supermarket cashiers. How long do we have here? I think you get the idea.
Weird thing about child sports meritocracy, the rainbow coalition of parents never once had a racial problem. All kinds of other problems. Playing time. Lackadaisical errors. Coaches favorites. Obnoxious dads behind-the-fence-coaching. Helicopter moms invading the dugout mid-game with snacks.
Daddyball, divas and demons. Spending hundreds of hours together reveals all of the human foibles. Playing a Ghetto Team meant that they threw hard inside and slid spikes up. They cheered hard and backed it up with hit batters. Threats of taking it to the parking lot did happen. Earrings did come off. Coaches sat in trucks for the game.
Growing up in the mean streets of G-Town (Glendora California - Pride of the Foothills as it’s known) didn’t prepare the girls for the level of parental involvement other teams made a part of the game. But scoreboard says it all in sports. All the parental bullshit stops with a walk-off. The girls know it.
The amount of time spent associated with games and practice is astounding for the uninitiated. At least we were stunned that first year. Consider an 8-year-old’s softball regimen:
Formal Practice 2-3 hours a day, 2 days a week, 6-9 hours, plus driving time
Individual practice and lessons, 2 hours once a week
Play 2-4 games, 2 weeknights and Saturday, 3-6 hours per game, including warm-up and driving time
Travel and play 1-2 tournaments per month, usually out of town, requires food/lodging, gate fees, driving or flight, 2-7 days, depending on the season
The commitment (and money) only increases from there. As the years and leagues roll by - talent, skill, and, most critically, the desire to compete - complete the evolutionary process of cutting the weak from the strong. Very soon, hi school and travel-ball consume even more hours of the student-athlete’s life.
Summer holidays and birthdays are melded into softball, typically combined with our softball family, and usually conducted at the field. Screams from the dugout of Mom or Dad are collectively answered “WHAT!” Parental shouts of “That’s my kid!” apply universally to the team.
In SoCal, softball is a year-round sport. Turkey-Trots in Vegas. Toys-4-Tots around Christmas. Spring-Flings in Big Bear. Summer: Repeat. Wardrobe choices are defined by team colors. Impromptu ice-chest pot-lucks are common. Poolside parties are mandatory. Kid-sharing, spouse-swapping, and getting a room have new non-deviant meanings.
Bitter rivals become loyal teammates. And vice-versa. Her team from Boston just played a game in Florida against two former teammates from California that go to school in Ohio. We’ve lost track of the cities and states she’s played in.
College has had it’s own set of challenges. Her first school closed after her first year. Her Sophomore year was basically a transfer year into a previously recruited and established team. Proving oneself over and over is a hallmark of athletes.
Covid killed a couple years. Rebounding in her Junior year, the Saints won the GNAC League Championship. She played in the NCAA Softball World Series.
She wears the ring of a champion. It cannot be over-stated
HARD WORK PAYS OFF
And now it’s Senior Day. Holy Hell! Proven herself she has. As if approval of outsiders is ever needed. Truth is, it is. Approval is needed. And sports provides a measuring stick by which approval is sought and extended. Failure is inbred into sports. The ability to rise again is unquestioned.
The dignity of an athlete is worthy of respect. The sacrifice of an athlete is beyond imaginable. The tribute to an athlete is never enough. I tip my cap to an athlete that has displayed integrity at every moment. Go ahead, ‘round the bases my love.
And on your way, pick up that degree in Sports Administration and get on with your life!
“It is important Dad. It’s not just a game. It’s my life”
I don’t know a softball player that hasn’t been broken, bloody, bruised and battered at some point in their careers. Often and multiple times.
Watching one’s daughter, with a heart-full of memories of that delicate little girl, get steam-rolled at the plate and laid-out cold is a terrifying and shocking thing. Hearing her describe the collision right after it happened provided insight into her strength - physically and mentally. And that insight still inspires me today.
I was at work in a crucial board meeting. The Wife alerted me by text to what had happened. Up by a run in the final inning, the tying run barreling in from third, she caught the ball on a bounce, blocked the plate and issued the sweep-tag on the runner.
The Wife’s emotions were obviously strained, as The Daughter had been knocked unconscious. A coach came on and coach-splained it so I could understand. The board meeting had stopped and became a support-group of sorts, impatiently waiting for news of the collision and outcome.
After a few minutes of laying there, she came to, the coach relayed. She was groggy, and had a concussion. Nothing broken or bloody. Ice pack in place, she took the phone.
She’s 12 or 13 at this point. She already broke an ankle the previous year in a wreck at the plate. Blood was a badge of honor to be worn proudly on home whites (much to the consternation of laundry moms). Ice-packs were her participation trophies.
I quietly listened as she calmly walked me through the end of the game. She told me she was fuzzy about the collision. She said she remembered the girl running towards her and then catching the ball. But nothing after that. Until she came to.
I laughed at her reply to my question of what was her first thought as she laid there. “Why is everyone looking at me?” Then she got silent and paused. She asked softly
“Aren’t you going to ask me?”
“Ask you what”
“What happened”
“That’s not important. You're ok, and it’s just a game”
“It is important Dad. It’s not just a game. It’s my life”
“I caught it and hung on to it. She was out”
I’m crying as I type these words. I can remember that phone call like it was 5 minutes ago. And it’s ending soon. And that’s ok. She is ready for it to end. I’m not ready, but I am accepting. It’s like keeping score. I’m in the Nerd Herd one last time. I’ll be keeping a book. One more weekend.
Honor an athlete today, they earned it.
Ric
Please enjoy a post I wrote in 2014 about my love of softball.
Why Life is Like Softball
Published on June 19, 2014 at LinkedIn
Ric Leczel
Writer/Content Creator/Real Estate Appraiser
A good portion of my working life has been spent in a management role. I have guided teams from 2 to 100, and I have always used the metaphor of baseball to motivate my staff. My youngest daughter, Ambur, has been playing softball for the past five years, and I have changed the metaphor from baseball to softball. Now that I am in sales, the comparison works even better. I have become a player, no longer the coach, and my value to the team is dependent on my actions.
I have always loved the timeless nature and eternally optimistic quality of baseball. After becoming involved with softball, I fell even more in love with the game. Softball is basically the same as baseball, but has shorter distances between the bases and the pitcher and catcher, therefore increasing the speed of the game and requiring even faster reaction times. Another big positive - softball girls always cheer, baseball boys do not! During a tour of the University of Arizona softball facility with legendary Coach Mike Candrea, he related the real difference between boys and girls: boys have to play good to feel good; girls have to feel good to play good. I think this is true for grown-ups as well.
To succeed in business, one has to be eternally optimistic or just opening the doors and turning on the lights would suck the life out of you. You can have the quickest reaction times in the world, but in business, reacting is the same as standing still. Anticipation and taking proactive steps are what will keep your clients happy. Ever notice in softball, before the pitch, players will “creep” into position, their feet moving forward, their bodies in a crouch, their glove at the ready. Before I call or meet with a client, I, too, “creep” into position. I know what they did last time, what they want this time, and how I will meet their needs.
As it relates to business, the softball analogy is almost perfect. Every game starts fresh, every at-bat starts fresh, and every pitch is a fresh start. Anything and everything can change at any moment, on any pitch, on any play. Momentum can be sustained or halted, and the game can be won or lost with one swing of the bat. In business, the same can happen. Each member of the team has to anticipate the play, to know where the ball is going once it gets to them, and to back up the play if they are not directly involved in the action. Everybody moves on every play, each one making decisions that affect the entire team. It truly is one for all, and all for one.
For a business to succeed, everyone on the team needs to be moving on every play. I can post record sales of widgets, but if operations are lollygagging and don’t produce, then you can kiss my client goodbye. Vice-versa, operations can manufacture the best mouse-trap ever invented, but if I am dogging it on this play and don’t close the sale, the game is lost.
My daughter spends a lot of time working on her mental strength, because in softball, failing seven out of ten times means you’re hitting .300, which is great! She has learned to brush off bad plays or strike-outs. Making errors is a given, in business just as it is in softball. It is the ability to bounce back after failure that is critical. The positive effect of cheering for your teammates cannot be understated, if for no other reason than to offer support after failure. Public recognition, hand-written thank you notes or hands-on help during a tight turn-over are ways to support your team and more times than not push your team to victory.
In conclusion, the metaphor I have always relied on to motivate my teams I now use to keep myself motivated. Just like in softball, life offers you a fresh start every day. It is up to you to approach the opportunity ready to make the play.
Wow.
My oldest is a junior, and at his last soccer game of the HS season, I realized there's only 1 more year left of all of this; the drives, the practices, the sweat, the triumph. It hits you like a truck. And damn, does it go fast. It's their life (as your daughter so accurately noted), but it kinda becomes ours as well. "Soccer dad" is a badge I've been wearing proudly for 10 years now. What's next?
As for Sirius, that used to be the theme for the Blazers as well. Any time I hear those notes, I'm back at the Memorial Coliseum. The sights, the sound, the smell... all of it.
Have a great weekend at the field, and here's hoping for a bunch of dingers!