Handle Your Business

Lessons from Prison. Struggles with Success.

I was wondering about topics to write about, and just like life itself, shit just happens. I know, that’s a lotta just abouts. I love a good redemption story as much as anyone. Probably more than anyone, as my journey is literally one of redemption.

Is your life one of redemption? Have you been at rock-bottom? How many second-chances have you burned through? Has God been your rock? Let us know.

Jen Shah Reflects on 1 Year Behind Bars — and Poses in New Photo from Barbie-Themed Prison Pageant

This post is more about sharing others’ stories than a ton of words about mine. I, like most of America, was riveted to the TV when Fani Willis took the stand. Holy Crap, that was awesome!

To a Man

I had no idea who Jen Shah was, or is, but I love her redemption story. Link to the story but I posted her letter from prison below. It is well worth your time to read. It’s probably a life-lesson we can all learn from.

I’m contrasting Ms. Shah’s story with that of Ms. Willis and her not-so-secret lover. Wow, talk about law and order! Her testimony was pure gold. It ripped the scab off a festering wound and probably has long-lasting ripples. I’m bummed they yanked her from a second day on the stand.

I’ve also included the transcript of Ms. Willis’ MLK Day speech at Atlanta’s oldest Black church, Big Bethel AME, the speech in which she outright blames racism, not her behavior, as the cause of the complaint against her. Big surprise.

Let’s ask an innocent question: If she hired three special prosecutors - one white man, one white female, and one black man - but only sleeps with the black man - can she be accused of racism or homophobia for not sleeping with white dude or the white chick? Just askin.

This speech is before we learned that Ms. Willis doesn’t like wine. Even while on vacay in Napa, she flew true with the Grey Goose. She also like her cash - you ask for a G, you’ll get your grand. And as far as her Boo is concerned, only thing a woman can do for him is “make me a sandwich.”

Oh breakups are so bad. Hard conversations are so hard to have. A man is not a plan. Think hard and long Mr. Wade, do you rent cabins in Tennessee? Like six months ago? I book lots of cabins. No, just lunch in Tennessee. Day Trippin six hours for lunch. In a cabin. In Tennessee. Uh-Oh.

Yes, I know. So prurient and salacious. And oh so deliciously ironic. The Bad Orange is going to trial or stands convicted for sexual misconduct. And lying. And falsifying documents. And encouraging deception. And, most gravely of all, subverting democracy. oh my!

The frail and flawed human beings that we are, subject only to our own demons, find new ways to self-sabotage. We’re experts at it. We project our own deficiencies onto unsuspecting targets, and demand unattainable achievements based on unreasonable expectations.

And we think we can splain it all away. The past always catches up. Our individual existence is predicated by the choices we make. Sometimes, we make choices in the dark. And then, a light is shone. We shall be Free. Let it all go.

Ric

Fani Willis' testimony evokes long-standing frustrations for Black women leaders

I have been away from my family for one year. The depth of my pain is unrelenting and indescribable. However, throughout this painful process, God has substantially increased my humility, gratitude, and courage.

Upon entering FPC Bryan, I wholeheartedly believed that no one was suffering as badly as I was. I quickly recognized that so many women are here battling and overcoming circumstances far worse than mine. Their resilience inspires and truly humbles me.

Recognizing that God continues to bless me not withstanding my wretched and unpredictable surroundings; expressing sincere gratitude has been my most effective coping mechanism. Despair and depression are companions that strive to capture my undivided attention every single day. Praying five times a day helps keep these and other emotional serpents at bay. I am most grateful for the aspects of my life that have never left me: My Family and Faith. Thank you God.

In my daily prayers, I ask God for the courage to realize I am worthy of a second chance. Through the countless therapy sessions and classes I have taken, I am finding the courage to set my fear and guilt aside. My husband tells me every morning that I have to fight for my happiness. He said it takes unimaginable courage to smile, and find joy and laughter despite my circumstances.

This photo was taken nearly eight months after I surrendered. My husband's advice finally settled into my heart and I found the courage to smile, find genuine joy and laughter by participating in a Barbie Hair Show Competition as "Adventure Barbie". My Barbie team and I razzle-dazzled the Real Hair Updo category with a fully choreographed routine to Latto's "Big Energy!" It brought me so much joy to put smiles on my fellow inmates faces. (And yes, we won our category.)

There is still so much I must learn while I am here at FPC Bryan, I am grateful God has given me a better foundation to appreciate his unwavering love and blessings to fight for that moment of happiness each day.

Here is a full transcript of DA Fani Willis’ remarks from the church on Sunday.

“I hope for y’all this week. I don’t look like what I’ve been through.

Hey. I want y’all to know I pulled out my most lavish $29.99 dress from Ross.

“And here I stand to talk to you this morning. See, that part is funny. That’s not God.

“All right, now, I must warn you, if you are looking today, this morning to hear from a perfect person. Well, he was crucified and he died for your sins But today, what he has brought you is his very flawed, hardheaded and imperfect servant. And so I prayed for him to please use me this morning.

“Some people are in this place to hear the Word of God. Others are here for other reasons. But my God got a way of making sure no matter why you came with his message. So the theme being celebrated today is it starts with me. I want somebody to repeat that. It starts with me. Shifting the cultural climate through the study and practice of Doctor King’s nonviolent philosophy.

“Yes, yes. So I’m going to start here. When I researched the history of this monumental church two words just jumped off the page at me. Alright? And the words were this. This church is built on faith, right? And resilience. I said, I said, I said, the hardheaded, flawed, imperfect servant before you is built and is being constantly chiseled. Alright?

“On faith and resilience. I said, that’s it, that’s it. I smiled when I read the description. I knew God was telling me, I’m sending you where you need to be. Yes I was invited here to give you a message, but yet my God does what he always does. He brought a message to me. He knew this child needed reminding.

“So I want to talk to you today. About what it’s required to be a soldier in this warfare. And that’s what it is. Warfare to shift the cultural climate. Yes. I must reveal to you a secret, though. Oh, wait for it. They want to know the journey is ugly. The journey is painful. The journey is full of pitfalls. But if you are one of his children, you must answer the purpose. Yes, you must answer the call. Yes.

“Y’all don’t hear me. You must answer the mandate. The question becomes, are you qualified? And it really comes down to this. How much are you personally willing to sacrifice for the greater good and his purpose? How much I want you to really sit and think about that question. How much are you willing to sacrifice for God’s purpose?

“Alright, see, I must confess to you as a little girl, I really did not think that Doctor Martin Luther King’s dream was still be just a work in progress. I thought by 2024, as a 52 year old woman, that certainly us humans would have gotten it together, that the cultural shift would have already taken place. Well, I thought by now, well, we would all just be getting along well.

“Boy, was I wrong, I said, I said, now, right now, as much as any time in history, we need a cultural shift as Americans have normalized. Some of y’all say that with me. Americans have normalized. Americans have normalized. They’ve normalized cruelty. Yeah. They’ve normalized bigotry They’ve normalized hate. Many of our youth and adults have no respect for authority. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“See, they criticized me for who my earthly father is and my heavenly one. Well, let me tell you about this earthly daddy and mom. See, my father is one of the few Americans living who was actually able to meet and spend time with Doctor Martin Luther King, and he’s an older man now. Don’t tell him I said it, y’all. And he’s told me often. You see how now you look around and on every corner they have Doctor Martin Luther King’s picture and anywhere you go they are celebrating Doctor King.

“Uh, he said, well, that’s not how it was when he cleared out. Oh, we going to tell the truth this morning, he tells me, you see, when Doctor King was here, I’ve seen him very hurt. Yes. My father’s revealed to me. He seen him in moments where Doctor King was saddened. That said, he was saddened because people were cruel to him. Yes. Unsupportive. Even some people he thought were naturally in his camp. That’s right. He told me that he was. There were those that were jealous and he really took a lot of abuse. Yes.

“He says, Doctor King was a great man. Yeah, a prophet, he calls him. He said he was filled with good and kindness, and the only thing he wanted to do was make the world a more equitable place. Yeah. He said Doctor King was not a perfect man, but he was a great man. Willing to answer God’s call. That’s it. That’s it. You all are.

“This week at one point, because they told me I could be honest with y’all. Come on. I became so in need of my source. Uh huh. Yes, yes. I stopped and to tap in, I penned a letter to my Heavenly Father. Yes, I desperately needed to tap in to that one source. That’s it, that’s it. See? God knows my heart. Yes. My joys. Yes, my pains, my sins, my flaws.

“Yes, I am one of his hardheaded children, so he must get me together often I’m telling the truth this morning. Yes. That’s it. But see, in my life I have experienced things that have taught me Jesus is the only source I can only rely on every time and all the time. I wanted if it was okay with you to share this letter I wrote this week to my God, okay, but you are warm. It ain’t the prettiest journey. And me and my God, we talk like regular folk.

“Dear father in heaven four years ago, you sent a godly woman to see me. She was different from me in so many ways. She was married to a wonderful man in law enforcement while I was out here. Real single y’all. She was a mother. She was not yet a mother at the time and I was raising 2 20 year olds. And I did say, still raising. She was a different race than mine. And she was a Republican while I was a Democrat. Our commonality was we were both God fearing women. Alright.

“But I must admit, God she’s much further in her journey than me with Christ. She explained to me, God, that you had spoken to her and told her to seek me out. And so she did. She said, you had seen my heart, and you, father, knew how I loved this county in my community She provided me with a Bible and encouraged me to commit to reading it often. She said you revealed to her that I had. If I had promised to work hard, follow you, root out corruption at every level, you would give me the position of leadership I sought.

“I had no idea what her words meant, but in this beautiful lady I saw Christ. So I knew I was just going to obey. I don’t think either of us at the time had an idea what I would inherit or gain as I became the da Lord God, even right now. Yes. Alright. That’s alright. That’s a that’s it. Yes. Alright. So I continue to feel unworthy of God. Alright. A divorced single mom who doesn’t belong to the right social groups doesn’t necessarily come from the right family. Yes, right doesn’t have the right pedigree. The assignment was just too high for lowly me. All I brought to the table. God is my mind. Yes, my heart, my work ethic. Yes. My undying love for people in the community. My Lord, you know my history.

“Yes. I’m still carrying childhood hurts. Uh huh, yeah. Uh huh. I struggled the entire time I raised my children. You remember when he left and it was just me and his two little girls figuring out how to get it done? Yes. God did not seem to care about my laundry list of shortcomings. He was not interested in my field. So I obeyed him to be honored as the first day. And he was a woman. Y’all hear me on that? Not a woman of color, just a woman. You’ll always be one of my greatest honors I worked so hard for it, so long.

“But I still humbly realized only 1% of the district attorneys in this country are women of colors. Why should I, your lowly servant, get this honor? But then this job began. Wait a minute. God, you forgot to tell me there was more than 50,000 cases not closed. Well, you left that detail out. Wait a minute. God, wait a minute. 18,000 unindicted cases going back seven years. Wait a minute, God. The morale of the staff is in the toilet. Yeah. Wow. And some of them are unqualified around here. Oh, God. You gotta be kidding.

Donald Trump: Fulton County DA Fani Willis ‘has been exposed’

“Seven of the highest profile cases in the United States going to land right here. Oh, no. Please make it stop. Oh, my God, you forgot to mention that my life and the life of my family would be threatened so regularly. I now think it’s not normal if I don’t have two death threats a week My God, you did not tell me that people would call me the N word more than they call me. Funny, you did not tell me. As a woman of color, it would not matter what I did, my motive, my talent, my ability, and my character would be constantly attacked. You did not tell me that the people would think they required of me perfection and flawless.

“God, why would you send this imperfect and very flawed woman to that position? God, you did not tell me my home would be swept multiple times for bombs, or that most days and nights that I would spend them in isolation because that was the safest place to be. You forgot to mention, Lord, that I would have to abandon my home You forgot to mention the loneliness of this position. And you certainly didn’t tell me about this stress, huh? Oh my God, I trust you God. I thank you. God, I love you. Yes, I thank you for every attack that makes me stronger.

“See, I sit here with a peace that surpasses it. Oh. Dear God, I do not want to be like those that attack me. I never want to be a Marjorie Taylor Greene who has never met me but has allowed her spirit to be filled with hate. How does this woman who has the honor of being a leader in my state? How is it that she has not reached out to me?

“She can tell me I don’t agree with anything you’re doing, but I do not agree with people threatening your life or the life of your family That is conduct that is wrong and intolerable. And as a leader, I shall not stand for it. How did such a woman come to think that it was normal and normalized, that another woman was worthy of such cruelty? I would never wish for her to have the experiences of the threats that I receive. The derogatory name calling, the being doxed multiple times.

Marjorie Taylor Greene files criminal complaint against Fulton DA Fani Willis

“God, you never told me that on Christmas night 2023 that I would get an emergency call from Capers Greene, my chief of investigations. The police are surrounding your house. A man has called 911 and he said that he shot a woman in the head. I am headed there. You never told me the pure, unimaginable fear as I believe my oldest child was dead in my home now. I cannot describe God for you. The panic and the terror and the fear. I had my mind believing my child was no longer with me.

“I thank you, Lord, that it all turned out to be a cruel hoax. And just another day to steal my joy as I tried to celebrate you. God responds to his hard headed trial. Yes, pray for Marjorie Taylor Greene. Well, pray for the man’s soul. Who called your house God. Wait a minute I ain’t dead yet. I’m still in my walk with you. I’m just being honest. This is me and my Lord talking. God, I don’t really want to do that. I ain’t feeling it. Yeah. God, do as I said, child. I am using her to grow you. Pray for her.

“I am all using all of these experiences to fortify you. Flawed. Hardheaded. Imperfect me. Pray for her. Yes, but dear God, are you listening? Why does Commissioner Thorn and so many others question my decision in a special counsel? Lord, your flawed, hardheaded and imperfect child.

“I’m a little confused. I appointed three special counsel, as is my right to do. Paid them all the same hourly rate. They only attack one. I hired one white woman, a good personal friend and great lawyer. A superstar, I tell you, I hired one white man, brilliant, my friend and a great lawyer. And I hired one black man. Another superstar a great friend and a great lawyer. Oh, Lord, they’re going to be mad when I call them out on this nonsense.

Fulton DA Fani Willis subpoenaed to testify in Nathan Wade’s divorce case: report

“First thing they say. Oh, she going to play the race card now? But no. God, isn’t it them who’s playing the race card when they only question one? Isn’t it them playing the race card when they constantly think I need someone from some other jurisdiction in some other state to tell me how to do a job I’ve been doing almost 30 years.

“God why don’t they look at themselves and just be honest? I mean, can’t they keep it a hundred with themselves, right? Come on. Why are they so surprised that a diverse team that I assembled, your child can accomplish extraordinary things? Yes. God, wasn’t it them that attacked this lawyer of impeccable credentials? The black man I chose has been a judge more than ten years, huh? Run a private practice. More than 20 represented businesses and civil litigation.

“I ain’t done. Y’all are served as a prosecutor, a criminal defense lawyer, special assistant attorney general one chief Justice Robert Benham award from the state bar of Georgia. You know, they ain’t just giving this to black men. How come God, the same black man I hired was acceptable when a Republican in another county hired him and paid him twice the rate?

“Oh, y’all ain’t hear me. All right. In another county, the elected official has the authority to pay him twice the rate. Why is the white male Republicans judgment good enough? But the black female Democrats Not yet. Now, please heal me. I’m not criticizing his judgment. The people of his county elected him to make that decision. In fact let me put it on the record. He’s someone I respect because he was always willing to hire diversity. He was just looking for quality.

Read the allegations of misconduct against Fulton County DA Fani Willis

“Alright, alright, I don’t care. Political party, they care about it. Uh huh. My only question is why is it questioning Lord Now I want to be clear. All three of these special counselors are superstars. But I’m just asking God, is it that some will never see a black man as qualified, no matter his achievements? What more can one achieve? The other two have never been judges but no one questions their credentials. I’m just saying.

“I’m just saying, Lord, I’m just asking, is it that I, because of the shell you chose to put me in, will never be qualified in their eyes to make the decisions the voters put me here to make you. Lord, never mind. Your flawed, imperfect servant has composed a team that wins, wins and wins. Never mind, Lord, that this leader has a trial conviction rate of 95%.

“Never mind, Lord, that the trial team this lawyer put together has a conviction rate of 95%. Never mind, Lord, that the appellate rate of my office is 96%. Never mind, Lord, that 400 plus children are touched by the programming that my staff put together to keep them out of gangs. No Never mind. Lord, thousands of records of citizens in my counties have now been restricted so they can work and get homes and return to being productive citizens.

“Never mind. Lord, in three years I have cut the backlog by more than 50%. Never mind Lord in my community, where in the rest of the country crime is down, 5 or 7% is down 20% year. Never mind, Lord, homicides are down in Atlanta by 21%. Is there something about me, Lord, that makes me still unqualified? God responds, child, pray for those. Pray they can’t see what I’ve qualified.

Trump co-defendant accuses Fulton County district attorney of misconduct

“Wait, God, I’m gonna slow down. Here is your hard headed child. I told you, I don’t want to pray for them I am tired of being treated cruelly. Play. Pray for them anyway, child. Pray for their hearts. Yes, pray for their souls. Yes, I qualified you. Yes, I qualified your imperfect, flawed self. Yes, sir. I saw you in every hour Yeah. Do my work. Ignore the distractions. Some of y’all may be familiar with my God that I serve. So I’m gonna stop a minute here.

“He’s the same God that took Moses to that burning bush. Hey. How many of y’all know Moses had a speech impediment? That’s the servant that God sent to give the greatest messaging of all time. Let my people go God must like hard headed children because Moses told them, you know, I got a speech impediment, right?

“And who am lonely me to go do that? He said, go tell them the great I am sent you. How many of y’all know God will use regular, ordinary folks to do extraordinary things? Let me say that for y’all again. Yeah. How many of you all know the God I serve? Will use ordinary folks to do extraordinary things? God will see all your mistakes, all your flaws, and still choose you to serve.

“So God told me, I know you’re tired of your circumstances, but I’m preparing you for the road ahead of you. Has some dark days and some bright days. Yes. So, ladies and gentlemen, on Thursday I was at a very low point. Really tired of all the pain that people cause. So weary of hearing mothers come in, talking about their children being hurt or worse, lives taken from them, that pain.

“I’m somebody who just takes it on. And it got a little heavy on Thursday. Tired of the 14 hour days, if I can be honest with you. Tired of the isolation, the loneliness, the backstabbing. Yes. Tired of all of it. But then my own time, God showed up, as he always does. A lady I love and respect, but had not seen in more than two years, randomly came by the office I don’t stop and take lunch, y’all. I don’t have no time in my day.

“But somehow God miraculously cleared my schedule for 40 minutes, appointments cancelled, and open up so I could spend 40 quality minutes with this lady. Yes, she was another leader She brought me her testimony of the two last awful years. And I’m going to tell you, I felt a shame because I was so caught up in my own world. I didn’t know what my friend had been through. She told me of a cheating husband and a divorce that had taken place. She talked to me about cancer that entered her body and almost took her out of this place. She talked to me about family trauma and of a child trying to commit suicide. Yes. Yes, Lord. She told me she was mad with you. The position of authority she had, she really didn’t want. But she took it because you told her to. And she had been obedient.

“And so she wanted to know how could I be obedient? Lord? And you take me through this last two years I’ve had. Come on. She said. Lord, you said you would perfect me. You would perfect the things concerning me. My husband left me. My body became sick. My children suffered. My finances are in the toilet. This is far from perfect. The Lord said to her, when I told you to devote yourself to me, I will perfect you. You heard it in your human ears. You heard that that meant I would make things easy and perfect. I did not mean that things would be easy as you heard it. Well she said she’d been looked at the biblical interpretation when the verse says, the Lord will perfect that which concerns you, it literally means he will complete it.

“Say. How many of you all know my friends? Random visit was not random at all and once again the Lord was talking to his hard headed child. Yeah yeah yeah. When the Lord was saying he would perfect me the things concerning me, yeah, he was telling me he would use me to complete it. Yeah. So I’m here to tell you something Thank you, Lord, and it may make some of y’all a little uncomfortable. God’s using ordinary people to do extraordinary things. I come real regular. In fact, when I meet people, that’s what they say. Real regular You don’t have no airs about yourself.

“And I say, well, how come I, I, I come from regular folk. I ain’t got no pedigree. I’m not a member of any of those elite organizations. And one more thing. I’m as flawed as they come. I said, that’s it, that’s it. But there is something special about me. It’s my willingness to love people. That’s it. I love people of every political party. Different viewpoints, different races, different sexualities And one thing you will come to learn about me is I make sure everyone else is good. Yeah. And sometimes I’m not. Yeah. That’s it, that’s it.

“See, Doctor King was an extremely special brilliant, godly man. But he was just a man. Yes, yes. And his journey was full of mistakes. Yes. Pitfalls, pain and ugliness. Yes. Despite all of that, he overcame those things and he changed the entire world. Yeah. See, I know we are at a time of history when they want to throw away books and not talk about history, right?

“Some of y’all may have forgotten. When Doctor King was alive, he was attacked for his stance on the Vietnam War. Yeah, some of y’all might have forgotten that scandal the FBI tried to do on personal indiscretions. They allege some of y’all forgot that. But now that same FBI will take a day off to celebrate Doctor King. Because my Lord and Savior will make them your footstool. All the glory I receive. It’s his grace, not a perfect me. Yes, sir.

“We are at a time in history. People hear me on this. We are at a time in history when you can no longer sit back and just let other folks do it. You cannot expect black women to be perfect and save the world. The Lord is completing us. We are not perfect. We need your prayers. We need to be allowed to stumble. We need grace.

“With that kind of support, we will move mountains and do Jesus’s will, doubling all the way. So his flawed, hard headed and imperfect child has a message for each of you today. Please find a way to do your extraordinary, God given assignment and make this community and the world a better place for all of his people.

“Yes, see, it is never about who you are. It is always about it. The great I am and who you see. We are all flawed, sinners, unworthy, imperfect, damaged. But we are qualified. Upon his calling, you can find common ground with people of all different ideologies. If you simply commit yourself to being obedient and steadfast in your efforts and his work. If you commit yourself, God will turn your hardheaded self yeah into the extraordinary for his kingdom. Thank you.”