President Joe Biden, speaking from the White House Situation Room, while VP Kamala Harris taped a speech on Cartography in the Map Room, announced that all current voting in the United States is immediately halted, and all future voting is permanently put on hold.
He described the efforts as a last-ditch attempt to save our delicate and fragile democracy, saying “We must stop these Mega MAGA Nazis”.
Pointing to Georgia as the prime example of voter suppression, where new Jim Crow 2.0 laws have induced record-breaking early-voting to the tune of 2.5 million ballots, Biden’s Executive Action also directs polling officials across the land to destroy all cast ballots to insure the integrity of the system.
The President’s spokesman, KCP, invited concerned citizens to Ballot-Burning Celebrations taking place coast-to-coast on Election Day, November 8. Flag-waving will be allowed or outlawed on a person-by-person basis. Red hats are banned.
Federal, state, and local government officials, along with DNC party apparatus, various NGO’s, NPR, legacy media, and all like-minded thinkers reportedly will be deputized to deal with any outbreaks of Mega MAGA Nazi violence, such as public assembly, prayer, or free speech.
Congressman Tells Fox News Viewers: Trumpism ‘Parallels’ Nazism
Don Ho Fan Club President and Majority Whip Clyburn solemnly explains that American voters are Nazis. How? By simply exercising their former constitutional right to vote for elected representatives, and by being concerned about frivolous issues such as energy and economy.
Yes, it’s apparent that American voters are the same as citizens of the Third Reich adoring Hitler. Clyburn directly compared 2022 Americans desire for low energy prices, including gas and home heating oil, and relief from skyrocketing household costs, to 1933 Germans that voted the homicidal megalomaniac into power.
Hitler was a 20th Century dictator directly responsible for starting World War II, the death of 70-85 million people worldwide, and the genocide of 6 million Jews.
Historian Michael Beschloss dutifully describes the future under Mega MAGA Nazi leadership, making it crystal clear on why these actions were undertaken by the President.
Discussions of the Fentanyl Poisoning Outbreak have also been banned. Previously allowed scientific studies and news reports have put the number of American citizens 18-45 that have died from Fentanyl Poisoning at around 40,000, with more than 100,000 dead Americans in total. One is left to wonder how many more children would be “rounded up and killed” in a Mega MAGA Nazi world.
Speaking of dead children, here’s this headline (which, by the way, is no longer permitted)
Young Americans Are Dying At Higher Rates Than In Any Other Wealthy Country
Young people in the U.S. are less likely to make their 25th birthday than in any other high-income country, according to a new report.
The study was conducted using huge databases featuring records of 377,000 young people in the U.S. prior to the pandemic. The researchers found that people aged between 15 to 24 in the U.S. are twice as likely to die than people in the same age range in countries such as Germany and France and mortality rates for infants are up to three times higher than in other high-income nations. The report suggests tha high levels of poverty, violence and relative lack of social safety nets are responsible.
Declaring that words are violence, and that silence is violence too, The President penned a new law, codified by Executive Action, that criminalizes teaching new words to voters. The President also added, “I think thinking is violence too, so I will stop that as well.”
Using the wrong words is now classified as hate-speech, and the administration is appointing loyal news anchors to become new Public Information Specialists. In this role, the anchors have a solemn duty to inform the unwilling public new meanings of old words.
Biden’s stark warnings about democracy
Stressing that the threat to democracy outweighs every other factor, including eating food and staying warm, President Biden delivered a message that resonated strongly in the DC Beltway, where the most-important-people live, and “where the scars of the US Capitol Insurrection are keenly felt. “
Familiar words such as man, woman, boy, and girl will have new connotations. The former definitions have been classified as Level-1 Hate Speech, and the use of them is punishable by imprisonment, exile, cancellation, or death, depending on the mood of the judge.
Voter apathy, suppression could lead to wave of Republican wins in elections to the dismay of Democrats
With several too-close-to-call key races around the nation that will determine the balance of power in Congress, kingmaker and now political tastemaker, Oprah Winfrey supported President Biden’s decision to cancel all voting.
Reversing her formerly held position that local voters should decide local issues, Oprah has joined the fray to save democracy. She empowers people to exploit the American way of bribing voters, as high-lighted in the piece
The Uber driver shared that while she is happy for her mother who votes regularly, the probability of her voting on Nov. 8 is unlikely. “If I can walk into a bank and I could get a couple of millions just to make my own business flourish [for] me and my children and my family,” she said, “That’s the only way I’ll vote.”
Speaking of bribing voters, the President laid out that his currently unconstitutional plan of forgiving student debt is in jeopardy, should the Mega MAGA Nazis assume control.
Biden’s student debt cancellation program is in grave danger from a Republican judiciary
Using novel legal precedent, the Doctrine of Almost Certainly Legal, touting Biden’s new law, the piece’s author proves little by saying much.
The program is almost certainly legal, but that fact is unlikely to persuade a judiciary dominated by his partisan foes.
Although there are few good arguments that the debt relief program is illegal, a federal judiciary dominated by Republican appointees could still strike the program down under a judicially created legal doctrine known as “major questions.”
Responding to hangry critics, the Administration served up the ICE (I Can Eat) Act, which promises a can of Chef Boyardee and a box of generic raisin bran in every basket.
In closing, the A side of 2112, a long-lost prescient piece of musical philosophy now outlawed, that foretells of this day. Too bad we didn’t listen.
I’m confused by the tone of this piece. Sarcasm? Alt universe? Critique of the current admin? Critique of the two party system?
When you've already traded down from hamburger to hamburger and hamburger helper, the next rung down is pure hamburger helper. After that, there is always sawdust.
No one in the Biden Administration understands the crucial energy sector, period. The war on pipelines is particularly incomprehensible. They are the safest way possible to transport petroleum products.